Sometimes you choose not to get a disability sticker, you cannot imagine if you did. People point and stare at everything you do; maybe it is because you are young, or because of the oversized medical equipment you carry, or maybe because of the decorations you made to make life a little brighter.
“Yesterday, like many days I overheard a child ask their mother ‘Why is she wearing a brace?’ But, unlike other days his mother replied with ‘Maybe her leg needs a little extra help, you can ask her if she is happy to tell you more.'” For those of you who do not know in December of 2020 I underwent hip surgery, for 8 weeks after I was to wear a brace ninety percent of the time to not flex my hip above a ninety-degree angle. Not only that, but I was also ninety percent non-weight bearing meaning I was not able to put weight on my leg, which is why for weeks I got around with a walker.
“I like your lights on your treadmill” said the eight-year-old boy, as I smiled and turned them on. I had been using the walker for quite some time and wanted to be in the holiday spirit. “Are you sad you are hurt?” he asked. “I am” I replied, but deep down I also knew that soon I will feel better. Running around the corner came his four-year-old sister with a blue lollipop. “This will make you feel better” she said. I smiled as I knew these little kids were curious as to what had happened. I knew all I wanted was to walk again and let me tell you after eight weeks of the FIRST phase of recovery, it did not feel fast enough.
“Will you share what happened?” he said. I explained to him how I had been an athlete for many years, how maybe skipping my stretching and mobility was not the best way to go, and how loving something so much eventually hurt me both emotionally and physically. “Are you scared of playing?” he asked. With a smile on my face, I knew I was not. I knew softball was the only thing I wanted to go back and do. See, softball will always be a part of my life, the good, the bad, all of it. It’s a journey that does not stop and I was not ready to let it go.
He shared a personal story. I reminded him that fear is normal, it is a part of life and the best reminder is that as humans we do hard things every day. See, when he asked me about fear deep down I knew it was a reminder for myself. A week before, I was cleared to drive, however sitting at a ninety-degree angle brought the fear of re-tearing my labrum early during the recovery, and these past eight weeks would have been for nothing. But he reminded me, that during pain or not, during the good or bad, we have to listen to our bodies, your pain whether emotional or physical is telling us something.
Pain is a dangerous signal and it is supposed to protect you from damaging your body. Did you know that people who suffer from chronic pain have an extra element, there is something that is keeping their pain going, that is keeping them stuck in that pain cycle, and that thing is fear. Sometimes the very event that causes you so much pain has also become your sole source of meaning.
Your story is important. Your story will inspire others. I have learned that a God story is not free from conflict, a God story is not free from pain, a God story is not free from struggle, a God story is full of eternal life and life more abundantly.
Today, I encourage you to share your story. Your story may help someone find their own. It will not only heal you but will heal others. Do not be afraid to be the sun, your warmth and courage will change someone else’s life.
